THE DETAILS
Planning a wedding begins with a list of details and a checklist.  Preparing for a successful marriage should begin the same way.  You probably have a large binder with lists of vendors, pictures, contracts and a “things-to-do” list for the wedding day.  But, do you also have a list of everything you and your fiancé must do after the wedding?  More time should be spent planning your married life than planning the wedding day.  Couples often overlook this detail.  If you have not done this, do not worry because you are not alone. These basic issues should be addressed now, rather than later.  It is beneficial to you and your fiancé to strive to resolve as many problems as possible, before the wedding, not after.

1) Communication: This encompasses many different areas.  First of all, are you and your fiancé able to openly discuss things and give each other the opportunity to explain one another's point of view?  This skill is crucial in maintaining a long-term and healthy relationship.  If you both cannot communicate in a calm, rational manner before the marriage, there will definitely be more problems further down the road. 2) Finances: Have you and your fiancé discussed a monthly budget for once you are a married couple?  For example, do either you or your fiancé have any old debts that are still being paid off?  Does either of you have student loans to pay?  Are either you or your fiancé a big spender, while the other is more frugal?  These are important topics to discuss and work out solutions for prior to the wedding day.  Research has shown that money is the most debated issue couples encounter, especially at the beginning of a marriage.  Immediately following the engagement, you and your fiancé should agree on a preliminary post-wedding budget.  You may wish to contact a financial advisor for further assistance. 3) Children: Have you and your fiancé discussed if you both want to have children?  If so, have you discussed how small or large of a family you both would like to have?  Also, have you discussed tentative plans for childcare?  For example, if the woman plans to return to work after having children, but her husband has more traditional plans, and expects his wife to stay at home, what will be the compromise?  In addition, have you and your fiancé discussed each other's unique parenting styles and philosophies and how you plan to incorporate these?  These important details are rarely discussed by couples before the wedding. 4) Religion: Do you and your fiancé share the same religious faith and/or beliefs?  If you do share the same religion, have you discussed the differences in beliefs that you both may have?  If you and your fiancé have different religious faiths, have you discussed how you plan to intertwine them once you are married?  Also, what religious faith do you both plan to share with your children? 5) Extended family: The relationship with your in-laws can be an area where tension may exist, but does not need to.  As with your partner, communication is necessary to maintain a working relationship with your in-laws and other members of your fiancé's family.  If there are problems between your family and your fiancé, try to keep everyone cool, calm and collected during family events.  Not all problems are solvable but they can be made livable.  By working out compromises and solutions before the wedding, you and your fiancé can lay the foundation for a loving and harmonious blending of your families.       Photography by Louis WHAT REALLY MATTERS Keeping the things that matter close to your heart should be the focus of your wedding.  Sometimes couples place greater importance on the actual wedding, and may forget that the wedding festivities last only a few hours.  In the end, your life will not be judged by your wedding day, but by what you and your fiancé do with your life afterwards.  By taking the time to plan ahead for future problems prior to the wedding, you and your fiancé can begin building the framework for a successful married life together.  Anyone can get married, but only a very special few can make a happy marriage last a lifetime.